작문지도 이렇게-4점 만점의 서머리
2008-03-17 (월) 12:00:00
지난주에 CST 테스트에서 출제된 서머리 라이팅을 위한 문제를 실었습니다. 그 문제를 보고 글을 요약한 4학년 학생의 4점 만점의 글을 싣습니다. 자녀와 어떤 점이 잘됐는지 이야기해 보면 도움이 될 것입니다.
Many kites today are used for entertainment, but in the past it was used for many important things.
Many people in history used kites to invent things. In the 1700’s, a man named Benjamin Franklin became famous for using a kite to make electricity.
After that, lots of people used electricity to make inventions like electric motors, light bulbs, and the first video player.
In the 1790’s box kites were used to measure how fast wind was going, what the temperature was, and what was in the air.
Then, in 1907 a man named Alexader Graham Bell thought that kites could be used to fly. So, he built kites big enough to lift people in the air.
But in Japan, Mr. Katsutaka Murooka would send kites with video cameras to take pictures high in the sky. The pictures are displayed in a very small museum.
Today people use kites to have fun. These activites are kite sailing, kite buggying, and kite jumping. These fun activites need lots of important training and safety rules.
In our history, kites have been used to make some important inventions. They are also used for fun. So some of the most funnest things can be used for the best discovors!
이 글이 4점 만점을 받을 수 있었던 것은 글의 주제를 정확하게 이해하고 중요한 디테일 역시 빠뜨리지 않고 요약한데 있습니다. 본문의 두가지 주제라 할 수 있는 1)‘Many kites today are used for entertainment,’ 과 2)‘in the past it was used for many impor- tant things.’을 잘 잡아냈습니다.
또 이 두 주제를 잘 구성해 일목요연하게 글을 전개한 것도 높이 살만합니다. 그러면서 문장에 다시 한번 이 두 메인 아이디어 (‘In our history, kites have been used to make some important inventions,’ and ‘They are also used for fun’)를 깔끔하게 정리해 높은 점수를 받았습니다.
무엇보다 다양한 문장의 종류를 구사하고 있습니다. compound sentences(‘Many kites today are used for entertainment, but in the past it was used for many important things’) complex sentences(‘In the 1790’s box kites were used to measure how fast wind was going, what the temperature was, and what was in the air’) and sentences beginning with subordinate word groups functioning as transitions (‘After that,…”; “In the 1790’s,…’; and ‘Then, in 1907…’) 등이 그 좋은 예입니다.
하지만 실수도 보입니다. 스펠링 오류(activites, funnest, and discovors) 등이 그 예인데 글을 쓴 다음 반드시 철자법과 문법 등을 더블 체크하는 것을 잊어서는 안되겠습니다.
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